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what’s the matter between monik and trust?

do u ever feel that u trust somebody but the truth is the person in untrustworthy? hehehu,, lieur ya?

well that’s what i feel.. it is not the people fault when i dont trust them,, the problem is in me.. maybe,,

ya namanya jg manusia kadang bisa dipercaya kadang ga, kalau udah menyangkut kepentingannya sendiri sih manusia bisa ngelakuin apa aja, ya ga sih? apalagi keras jaman skrg,, manusia mana yg bisa dipercaya? susah lah..

sprt yg monik pernah bilang dulu.. the most realible “person” is Allah.,.

sifat monik yg  ga mudah percayaan sama org ini bukan krn ada post traumatic syndrome prnh disakitin temen ato dkhianatin pacar, Alhamdulillah temen monik baik2 ko,, they’re all nice,, monik bersyukur dikelilingi sama org2 luar biasa,,

people say friendship will last forever than love.. maybe it’s not whole true.. sahabat itu bisa ko nanti lepas seiring waktu,, i know because i have been through that, perlahan jika dunianya udah ga sejalan dgn duniamu lagi,, nnti dia akan menganggapmu bukan bagian dari dunianya..

mgkn dia pny dunia baru yg waw, sophisticated,, and u’re not get enough to reach that,,

mgkn dia pny dunia yg religius,, and again,, u’re not good enough to be there

mgkn dia pny dunianya sendiri,, dan menganggap kita bukanlah sahabatnya yg dulu,, apa krn kurang cukup pantas atau krn alasan2 lainnya,, time can answer it,,

i have a lot buddies, i have many bestfriends,, and i love them,, but sometimes to trust them until 75% is not easy,,

kadang emang pikiran jelek monik nih yg kambuhan,, negatif thinking-an, haha.. dodol lah,, pdhl mgkn kenyataan sbnrnya ga sejelek yg monik pikir,

misal ya,, monik ngsms tmen sesuatu hal yg penting,, eh sampe bsk dia g bls,, mulai deh hormon shu’uzonisme yg bekerja,, mencetak kata2 dan bisikan2 jelek,, dia tu kayanya ada sesuatu deh di blkg sampe g bls sms, ato kynya dia ga suka deh sama yg aku smsin, dll, dll,, padahal mah kalo dikonfirm,, eh trnyta dia g bls krn seharian sibuk ngurusin acara apaa gitu.. (just call me that i am lebay, haha).. trus misalnya nih temen2 pd mau pergi nonton film apa gitu malem2, terus monik ga diajak,, terus dalam pikiran monik,, ih ko aku ga diajak,, apa aku ini ga dianggep ya? heu… padahal mah mereka ga ngajak soalnya tau tea rumah monik jauh, kesian nanti kalo pulang malem,,

dan banyak hal2 kecil lainnya yg bikin mengundang shu’uzonisme dan berlanjut pada ketidapercayaan,, maybe that’s becos my sensitive side,, hoho,, tp emang  monik aga hati2 ko kalo percaya org,, kan kata nasehat oma dan opa, jangan percaya sama org ga di kenal yg ngajak ngomong di jalan,,, hahaha, yg itu teu nyambung deng itu mah,,

yah, mudah2an, my sensitive side will not turn bad for next-next time,,,

oya, for all these years,, i just trust only a few people,,

– my family (ya iyala,, namanya keluarga walopun keliatannya ga perhatian, cuek, ga deket,,bukan tmpt curhat ky ke temen2,kdng ga sejalan, tp i know my family always trustworthy,, they will do the best for u,, esp, mama dan papa,,i know inside their heart, they love me without reservation,, true-hearted, whole-souled, true-blue, sincere, bla-bla, bla,,) kalo org lain ya belom tntu tulus.. (kan, kan mulai shu uzon),

– my lovely best buddy ever,, Nuzulya Safitri (Njul),, thank you sist, for accompany me these whole years,, time never change u, and us.,, walopun ga sesering jaman SD-SMP-SMA-TPB bareng2,, tp we always have a way to get together,, walopun ga smuanya kita sharing, dan monik ga slalu tau gmn keadaan njul, dan njul jg ga slalu tau mslh monik.. but i know i can trust u., and hope it can last forever,, amiin,,,

– harusnya sihh,, (kl nanti,,) i think i have to trust my future husband,, haha,, who ever he is..  tentunyaa..,. masa  nikah tp ga saling percaya,,

that’s all for today,, night pal,,