Being Indonesian in the Netherlands

Right or Wrong is My Country

Hidup di sini (Belanda) memang enak, tapi fana (AS, 2015)

Pulang 3 minggu ke Indonesia memang ga cukup untuk memenuhi segala macam keinginan libur dan berkangen-kangenan sama keluarga, sahabat, tempat, suasana, makanan, daaaan segala macem lainnya. Tapi apa mau di kata memang jatah liburan kali ini hanya segitu, itupun karena adik nikah, jadi kita pengen sekalian pulang. Liburan kemarin itu emang bela-belain banget, suami ngabisin jatah cuti, saya pun sebelum pulang pun saya rodi (lebay) buat ngeberesin tugas-tugas kuliah supaya pas pulang ga numpuk, Alhamdulillah beres (Pertanyaannya: gimana memompa semangat kembali nih buat ngerjain research part 2).

Oke, jadi pengalaman pas di Indonesia kemarin itu seneng sih seneng, enak sih enak, tapi saya kebayang juga nanti kalau saya dan keluarga udah jadi pulang for good di Indonesia, apa saya ga bakal ngangenin segala macam fasilitas di Belanda yang lengkap dan nyaman, apa saya ga bakal misuh-misuh kok negara kita gini banget gak kayak di luar negeri, apa saya ga bakal ngangenin keteraturan di sini? Continue reading “Right or Wrong is My Country”

Being Indonesian in the Netherlands

Al-Biatu Sholihah

Menyambung dari postingan saya sebelumnya di sini. Saya jadi ingin ngeshare sedikit materi yang saya dapat. Menurut Ibnu Abbas, seorang sahabat yang selalu menyertai Rasulullah, terdapat 7 indikator kebahagiaan di dunia. Menurut Beliau ada 7 indikator kebahagiaan tersebut,  Qalbun syakirun atau hati yang selalu bersyukur; Al azwaju shalihah, yaitu pasangan hidup yang sholeh;  Auladun abrar, yaitu anak yang soleh; Albiatu sholihah, yaitu lingkungan yang kondusif untuk iman kita; Al malul halal, atau harta yang halal; Tafakuh fi dien, atau semangat untuk memahami agama; dan umur yang barokah.

Cuma satu yang mau saya bahas di sini, mengenai Al-Biatu Sholihah, yaitu lingkungan yang kondusif untuk iman kita.

Kenapa saya ingin mengulas ini? Salah satunya karena saat ini saya dan keluarga tinggal di negara yang mayoritas penduduknya bukan muslim, dan di mana fasilitas untuk peribadatan muslim (lebih) terbatas dibandingkan dengan Indonesia.

Rasulullah sendiri menganjurkan kita untuk selalu bergaul dengan orang-orang saleh yang selalu mengajak kepada kebaikan dan mengingatkan bila kita salah. Diriwayatkan hadits: “Perumpamaan teman yang shalih dengan yang buruk itu seperti penjual minyak wangi dan tukang pandai besi. Berteman dengan penjual minyak wangi akan membuatmu harum karena kamu bisa membeli minyak wangi darinya atau sekurang-kurangnya mencium bau wanginya. Sementara berteman dengan pandai besi akan membakar badan dan bajumu atau kamu hanya akan mendapatkan bau tidak sedap”. (HR. Bukhari Muslim).

Continue reading “Al-Biatu Sholihah”

Info for Motion, Just Learning, Love..

Repost – 7 Things Your Muslim Wife Won’t Tell You

The article from the same source Islamic Learning Materials . This article continues the former article about husband.

Yes, I wonder how he can tell it right.

Same thing, I nod and say, “I hope he tries his very best”. And I just know he does it. 🙂

What’s Going On Under the Hijab?

Last week I wrote an article entitled “7 Things Your Muslim Husband Won’t Tell You.” I thought I was gonna get a lot of complaints about that one, but so far, everyone seems to enjoy it.

Well, if the last article didn’t upset you, perhaps this one will. Actually, I don’t want to upset you. But I do want you to think about things that may not normally cross your mind.

Most men have a hard time understanding women. Even a woman they’ve been married to for years.

One minute she’s perfectly fine. The next, she’s crying like a baby.

She complains about something but when we offer advice on how to fix it, she still isn’t satisfied.

After several years of marriage (and counselling) I’ve learned to not worry so much about what my wife says. Instead, I should worry about what she doesn’t say.

With this information in mind, I’ve put together a quick list of things Muslim men should be aware of when it comes to their wife’s mind.

1. Above All, She Wants Your Love

This harkens back to a post I wrote a couple of months ago called “Love or Respect: Which Do You Prefer?”

In this article I explained that men desire respect from their wives, and women desire love from their husbands.

When a wife shows her husband less respect, he in turn shows her less love.

And when a husband shows his wife less love, she in turn shows him less respect.

And the vicious cycle repeats itself.

Stop this prophecy before it becomes self-fulfilling. Show love to your wife.

That’s what she wants. Love her despite her flaws and quirks.

And Inshallah, she’ll respect you despite your flaws and quirks.

2. She’s Bored

It’s the same thing every day.

Week in and week out.

Not only is she bored but she’s also tired.

She has to care for the kids and run the household and then pamper you.

Just thinking about doing that every day makes me want to crawl under my covers and hide. I can imagine how the average Muslim housewife must feel.

And let’s not forget about working woman. Many Muslim women have to work a full time job as well as hold a house down.

So brothers, I implore you, make your wife feel special. Give her a break.

Take her out sometimes. Surprise her with a surprise meal. Bring her favorite desert home.

Just do something every now and then to break the monotany.

Continue reading “Repost – 7 Things Your Muslim Wife Won’t Tell You”

Info for Motion, Just Learning, Love..

Repost – 7 Things Your Muslim Husband Won’t Tell You

I found nice post here: Islamic Learning Materials . This article is intersting and bright!

I am learning 🙂

Yes, I nod..  and say, “oke, I’ll try my very best”

What’s Going Through Your Muslim Husband’s Mind?

Ever wish you could read your husband’s mind? Western culture encourages husbands and wives to talk to each other and discuss things.

However, in many Muslim cultures, men are raised to be stoic and tight-lipped. Muslim husbands are very often (not always) reluctant to talk about certain things with their wives.

Part of the problem is also that sometimes it is hard to actually formulate our thoughts into the right words.

The only thing more difficult than translating thoughts to words is translating feelings to words.

 So, a lot of Muslim men and women go through their marria marriages with very little communication and never really knowing what the other person is thinking.

This quick list is for the Muslim sisters in my audience. This list will give you good idea of some of the things your husband thinks about, but just doesn’t know how, or want, to tell you.

1. Above All, He Desires Your Respect

I spoke about this in my article “Love or Respect: Which Do You Prefer?”.

In this article, I explained that women want to know their husbands love them, and men want to know their wives respect them.

It’s important that Muslim women understand the value of respect for men, especially Muslim men. In Islam, men are taught from a young age that they are supposed to be the bread-winners and caretakers of their families.

You can imagine how frustrating it would be for a man, who tries his best to care for his family, to be married to a woman who doesn’t respect him. She may declare that she loves him, but without her respect, he will quickly fall out of love with her.

This idea is put forward in the Quran where Allah says:

Men are in charge of women by what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend from their wealth. So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband’s] absence what Allah would have them guard. (Chapter 4, Verse 34)

If you fear there is a problem in your marriage sisters, I would suggest you start here.

Continue reading “Repost – 7 Things Your Muslim Husband Won’t Tell You”